Yes boys and girls-  The clam.  


Slippery elusive bastards that some may order off a restaurant menu and even fewer will actually buy fresh.  


And let’s be honest-  it’s not that they look strange, clams are quite cute in fact.  Maybe there’s fear of illness from cooking them wrong?

And now you’re nodding, attempting to avoid the real question that races through all our minds when we see a bags of clams at the market and turn briskly away-


What the fuck am I supposed to do with these things???  


Thanks to two dear friends of mine, I have your answer.  Throw them on a fire.  


Yes.  A fire.  No fancy spaghetti or wine-steamed bullshit- just build a fire, put a grate over it (or literally right on it) and throw the clams on. When they pop open they’re done.  


Remove with tongs and eat immediately.  No sauce, no seasoning.  You won’t need it.  


And they will be the best clams you’ve ever had in your entire life.  Joy!