Holy crap call me Alice, cause I’m in Wonderland.

Hehheh get it?!?  “Wonder” land.

Like Wonder Bread.

Haters.

We now move from lean bread (baguettes) to enriched bread, meaning dough with anything added that will inhibit the little yeasties from ramping up their wet fart party.

If you’re still not over the realization of delighting in their tasty little rotting corpses, this may help a little..  we are now going to add a shit ton of eggs and butter.

Hi France, nice to meet you.

Or as my friend at school likes to say-  Why?  Because fuck you.

But!  It does lessen the importance of the flavor fermentation brings to the dough.  Feel better?  No?  How bout a nice cool beer?

Bwahahahahaha.  Ahhh yeast humor.  It’s like poop, it’s never not funny.

Just letting my inner brioche flow there..

So color me crazy.  Brioche, besides being super fun to say and beyond horridly bad for you, it is the basis for hamburger buns, sticky buns & sweet rolls!  When we tasted it plain I was shocked to make this discovery, but the taste is very distinct and screams SLAP a slab of meat on me pronto!!  If fact, apparently brioche pairs perfectly with fois gras, and is the perfect specimen for french toast.

In other words..

Brioche + Fatty Protein = An Army of Immortal Dragons with Laser Beams strapped to their Heads at your Command.

Incidentally it’s also good with a soft cheese, akin to a goat perhaps, but who’s counting.  Not this dragon master.

Brioche also takes much longer to rise since it’s enriched (reference lack of yeast party above), which will make it a “closed crumb” bread.  Aka no large holes like the baguette dis time.

The dough itself is super sticky when you make it, and you have to plop it in a bag (with a hole since the yeasties are technically still doing their thing) and refrigerate it overnight.

I shit you not the next day it’s just like Play-Doh.  You roll it and mold it to what you want and that’s about it.

Roll into balls for rolls.  Squish the balls for buns.  Roll out for cinnamon rolls and sticky buns, fill, roll up and cut.

Proof (or let rise basically) for friggin ever in a day, bake, rest.

Drool.

For those following the technical aspect of this:  You would use a sponge in a brioche if you’re going to use it the next day.  If you leave it in the fridge for two days, you can mix everything (including the sponge ingredients) at once.  When you mix, combine all ingredients except eggs and butter.  Add eggs a few at a time and incorporate.  Add butter chunks and mix until fully incorporated..  this may take a while.  Butter must be soft but not melted.

Cheers!