…So that’s why the parents really aren’t ok, and why no one is.  I’m focusing on the additional element of being constantly forced into the “no parent” position here, but the rest of this applies evenly across the board.  Ha.  Inconsistency is the only consistent thing we have right now, that’s hilariously ironic.

But not so much when it impacts people’s lives and freedom of choice.  Like vaccine mandates.  Yes I’m going to step on the crazy-ass land mind here because it needs to be talked about, rationally.  We are fully vaccinated to include our now almost 7-yr-old; that was a personal choice for our family which was also the right choice for our family.  My husband and I both got ours very early in 2021, for work and because I was helping with Burt’s treatment at the time.

Was I trepidatious to be in the first wave of trying a new vaccine?  Honestly, yes.  I’m not an anti-vaxxer (though I whole-heartedly respect their right to their point of view), but I was hesitant.  If my family hadn’t been in the treatment situation we were in with Burt, I may have waited a few months just to see how it all shook out.  Just to make sure we weren’t all going Walking Dead on each other. 

Laugh but you know I’m right, and that you thought it at least once too.

But.  Would someone please explain to me how a negative test and a vaccination card are the same thing??  First off, that’s fiscal discrimination because you don’t have to pay for the vaccine, but you do have to pay for –if you can get your hands on one– a covid test.  Yes they have the few free ones the government will send you; I submitted for ours right when the option came up and still haven’t received them.*  But even if I had, that helps with what?  Three tests?  Four?  I understand insurance reimbursement, but how long does that take?  It’s the extra steps I’m focusing on here, and every time?  Reminds me of a certain period of voting registration in our history… how many jellybeans are in this jar? 

Screw the jar and screw the jellybeans.  I’ve been to more events than free covid tests you can apply for in the last two months that require either a negative test or vaccination card for entry -AND- only one venue looked at my vaccination card.  But every venue has asked to see a negative test.  

That one time, we had to submit our vaccination cards for a live show we went to and then received a link clearing us for entry.  Which, is completely creepy in itself.  Look I get the value of how vaccinations and herd immunity work (honestly more people could use to look that second one up cause in the words of Inigo Montoya, “I do not think that means what you think it means”), but I also don’t think we can push people into doing something they don’t feel is right for their bodies or their families, and then punish them for standing up for themselves.

You can still carry the virus if you’re vaccinated, so I ask again how are proof of a negative test and a vaccine card equivalent?

The answer is, they’re not.  And that’s wrong. 

Now for a pause, private industry absolutely has the right to restrict entrance based on the policy they feel is correct for their venue, however that restriction should be equal across the board and not discriminatory.  If the goal is a covid-free environment, then make *everyone* show a negative test.  Or, if we are putting our backing behind vaccines, stop enforcing mask wear even if you’re vaccinated.  Or really, at all (which is starting to happen as I write this).  What do we actually care about?  Perhaps crowd control, and desperation to avoid any type of litigation are closer to the truth?  

From companies, states, and even federally we are approaching this schizophrenically instead of logically to avoid being sued, either fiscally or in the popularity contest of politics.

There’s the root of it.  And in response I say, ditch this crap let people be.

Will there be some restrictions that private industries have the right to enforce?  Yes.  And as long as those restrictions are instituted without discrimination, that’s fine.  But I say again ones that actively punish people, fiscally or otherwise (through extra reimbursement work, etc) are wrong.  I was recently at an event that was vaccine mandated, but one of attendees wasn’t vaccinated.  She was required to show a negative test because she told the truth; we didn’t have to show our vaccine cards.  In addition, her funding to attend was restricted as a result of her vaccination status.  I need to be clear that this was an optional, educational event and not in-line with work, but it was valuable education she had a right to have equal access to.  So she paid her own way because of a vaccine.  Ironically she wasn’t an anti-vaxxer nor did she believe strongly about it, she just hadn’t gotten it yet because of her home schedule.

And because state/local restrictions and some federal restrictions differ on vaccination status and mask wear, we are now in a situation where kids can go to school mask-free, but are required to wear them on the bus (even though they just spent the day with those same kids unmasked).  We are in a position where my cohort I just spoke about had to fund her own trip, when partial funding was available for the rest of us, however the place we had the conference in didn’t have mask mandates anymore; so outside of the conference rooms and in the hotel, no one wore masks… but in the conference rooms we had to.  I can only imagine how she felt, having to fork over that money for access to an equal education in our topic, merely to be in an environment where mask wear only mattered half the time (again because of conflicting local/institution guidance).  Wow.

So I say again, it’s time we started to let people be so we can all start being again.  So we can be in our herds, where we find mental solace and can ditch the isolation.  This isn’t just about lifting mask and vaccine mandates, it’s about us leaving each other alone about it when those things do happen.  

I want to be in control as a parent again, to be a YES parent again and have it be *my* choice when I say no.

Allow those who do not feel the vaccine is right for them to go forward unpunished and undiscriminated against for their decision.  Stop firing people who don’t want to get vaccinated, as it’s a personal decision that only affects them.  Vaccinated people can still carry the virus so this is one I really don’t get.

If you are unvaccinated stop being mean to people who are, that was also their personal choice.  If you want your choice respected, start with respect.  And yes, that goes both ways.  

Allow logic to enter our decisions about vaccination and mask wear policies.  Truly, vaccination is a decision that affects the individual, and each individual has the right to determine which level of risk is more important to them (here, possibly risking a worse outcome if covid is contracted vs the outcome of putting a vaccine into the body).  What someone else puts into their body isn’t our business, and contrary to popular belief, it never was.  

Finally, lets mentally embrace and move on to the endemic portion of our show and TRUST in people’s right to make their own decisions about various levels of risk.  By simply doing this instead of trying to apply blanket control to situations that are too highly-nuanced from family to family for it to be effective, we can take the friction about masks, vaccines, and (in my far-reaching dreams) politics as it relates to covid off the table and all enjoy each other’s company again without walking on eggshells.  We can have our herds again.

I’m fighting back.  I’m tired of this shit.  I crossed all my t’s and dotted all my i’s, and now I’m going to be a yes parent again.  I am standing up in the ways I can for vaccine equality, and as a parent I’m not taking no for an acceptable answer anymore.  

I am a YES parent.  I didn’t realize the value in that until I lost it, and I will not allow anyone to take that away from me again.

 

 

Just a little snarky PS:

Yes it was my choice to have kids.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard over the past two years how it was our (parents) choice and we have to live with it.  Please don’t forget, those children are an investment in everyones future.  They are the next firefighters, trash collectors, physical therapists, police, first responders, hospice nurses, etc.  So unless we’re going to start introducing policy that the people who raised those kids get these services first, because we “lived with our choice,” let’s lay off the bullshit and just be nice to parents.  This means to each other too, btw. 

You don’t have to help, just don’t be mean.  Smile!  Be patient.  These are the little people who will take care of all of us someday, and I’m raising them free of obligation.  Remember, we as parents made work commitments because school in this country is compulsory.  We don’t send our kids to school because it’s childcare, we send them because it’s illegal not to, and we’ve subsequently made work commitments around that fact.  It is very hard to retool those commitments because suddenly we’re sporadically and unpredictably keeping kids home from school, -and- it’s illegal for us to leave them unattended in our homes before a certain age.  Additionally, virtual school below a certain age requires parental involvement for it to be effective, so you can’t just stick ’em in front of a screen and go about your work.  Again, not asking for help, just understanding and a smile, and if you can, a listening ear to help us vent our frustrations and challenges as we continue to raise, free of charge, the next generation of society which will benefit all regardless if the all had children or not. 

*Ironically our tests came as of writing this article. Hahahaha am I being spied on?? Hope it’s a good show for the people watching hehehehe.